Monday, September 7, 2015

Applause! Applause! Review of Jackie Beat: Songs I Can't Sing Anymore! at The Laurie Beechman Theatre by Dr. Thomas Robert Stevens

This review of Jackie Beat: Songs I Can't Sing Anymore! at The Laurie Beechman Theatre was written by Dr. Thomas Robert Stevens and published in Volume X, Issue 5 (2015) of the online edition of Applause! Applause!

Jackie Beat: Songs I Can't Sing Anymore!
Written & Performed by Kent Fuher
The Laurie Beechman Theatre
407 West 42nd Street
New York, New York 10036
Reviewed 9/5/15 at 7:00 p.m. 

Introduced as a performer "well past her expiration date," Jackie Beat took the stage at The Laurie Beechman Theatre looking young, vibrant and thin. She explained the name of the show does not refer to her ability to sing the songs she has selected but, instead, to the fact that the song parodies refer to issues that are no longer in the news and relevant to audiences. So what is Jackie Beat, the self-professed bastard child of "Weird" Al Yankovic and buxom Bette Midler, to do? Obviously, take all the irrelevant parody songs dealing with people like Jenny Jones, Tiger Woods, President George W. Bush, Osama bin Laden, Sarah Palin, Mitt Romney, Michael Jackson, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, and issues such as the SARS virus, the attack on the Twin Towers, the bombing of Iraq, the 2012 End-Of-The-World Mayan calendar, and put them all into one, new, entertaining show that provides the audience with a fierce and fabulous flashback of fun. She even added a new song parody she just wrote dealing with the allegations against Bill Cosby entitled, "Get Off Me Bill." 

Based on my observations of the sold-out, mixed gender, sexual orientation variant audience, I must conclude that Drag Queens are the new flavor of the day at the same time misguided, politically correct activists within the G.L.B.T. community move to ban drag queens from gay pride parades. Jackie Beat is a refreshing breath of fresh air. She calls them as she sees them and doesn't have a politically correct bone in her curvaceous body. At a recent show, she confronted a young woman texting during the show and told her it was unacceptable. The girl replied, "For your information, I am texting my friend about how fabulous you are!" to which Jackie responded, "Thanks. That's sort of like telling a kid, 'I'm only molesting you because you're adorable.'" One of Jackie's parody songs involved Frito-Lay's Fat-Free "Wow!" potato chips released in 1998 using Olean (the brand name of Olestra, Procter & Gamble's then ground-breaking artificial fat substitute). Consumers complained of cramps, gas and loose bowels. Warnings went out about the risk of "explosive diarrhea," and "anal leakage." Jackie went on to say, "most Puerto Rican guys I know should come with the same warning." She claims to have been texting Osama bin Laden when he was shot in the face and reported his breath smelled like "camel's cock" (I wonder how she would know what camel's cock smells like). Jackie Beat also repeated Sarah Silverman's joke about "having been raped by a doctor, which is a bittersweet experience for a Jewish girl." If you are easily offended, stay away from a Jackie Beat show. If you know how to laugh and have fun, get yourself down soon to see this self-described "World's Biggest Bitch."

Jackie Beat, the creation of artist and writer Kent Fuher, was born in Los Angeles way back in 1989. Over the past 26 years, Jackie has appeared in countless stage productions such as "Valley Of The Dolls" and "Whatever Happened To Busty Jane?" and many movies and television shows, including "Flawless" with Robert DeNiro and Phillip Seymour Hoffman, "Wigstock The Movie" and "Sex In The City." She also toured as the opening act for comic Roseanne Barr (including a seven-week run at the New York, New York casino in Las Vegas) and has written material for Rosie O'Donnell, Joan Rivers, Ross Matthews, Jennifer Coolidge, Kate Flannery, and more. Her one-woman show "Jackie Beat Is A Whole Lotta' Love" ran a record 18 months at New York City's premiere cabaret Fez (under Time Cafe). Kent Fuher, Jackie Beat's male alter ego is also a Writer's Guild member who has worked on The WB sketch comedy show Hype!, and the Sci-Fi Channel original series Tripping The Rift. Jackie Beat's stand-up has been featured in comedy clubs across the country and on Comedy Central, VH-1, and MTV. Her scathing song parodies have been featured on America's Top Forty with Ryan Seacrest, The Howard Stern Show, Much More TV, Yo on E! and Jackie's hilarious music videos on YouTube are huge fan hits that have been seen by millions of people. Especially in light of Caitlyn Jenner's recent sex-change operation, I suggest you check out Jackie Beat's Beaver! video at

Drag Superstar Jackie Beat has a strong and powerful stage presence and a voice with the range of the very best singers in the country. For decades, she has been entertaining audiences across the United States and Europe with her razor-sharp, biting song parodies. She is in a unique class of drag performers, namely, those who actually have talent! Jackie once said, "Vegas' idea of drag is a celebrity impersonator lip-synching one of their favorite hits." What she offers is more of a foul-mouthed, child scaring, crazy lady not in the mood to take anyone's crap. Speaking of crap and "anal leakage," Jackie Beat offers underwear for sale after the show imprinted with the image of her face. If you'd rather a pillow, a pocketbook, a coffee cup or one of her many CDs, visit the store on her website at 

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